I’ve said before that love is a job you can’t retire from. Both parties have to show up ready to work every day. You can’t take breaks from loving your spouse. You have to commit to real love, day in and day out. It isn’t easy because we are naturally selfish at times. At times we want to be catered to. We wish they would just see it our way. We wish that they could understand the way we feel and what we’re trying to accomplish in life. But rarely do we sit and think about what they need from us. How they need to be loved. What can we do to make it better for them. What can we do to better understand them. It’s always me, me, me.
It’s not fair to them and it’s not healthy for a relationship. You should give respect and love, and expect it in return. Focus on the good they do for you instead of what they don’t do. If you know their heart is in the right place and they really love you, appreciate it. Communicate with them. Express your heart to them. Plead with them to stop playing the victim and to really hear you out. Make it known that you’re serious and the issues must be worked out. Give your best effort. Lead with love instead of sitting and waiting to be loved. Treat them with the love and attention you want from them. If you’ve expressed your needs and you’ve met theirs, they shouldn’t be too far behind. If your partner won’t make adjustments and some drastic changes for you, it’s not real love. If you talk but they NEVER listen, it’s not real love. If you can’t get them to change no matter what you do, it’s not real love.
If it’s real, you’ll know it. You’ll express yourself and you’ll see immediate changes. Those changes will become habits and even if they backslide you can quickly snap them out of the slump. Real love conquers all. Fight for your love, not physically but emotionally. Give your all and ask for their all in return. It’s worth it and it can work.
Keep working on love as it’s working on you!
Tony A. Gaskins Jr.