Don’t hold on to the pain…

Allow the pain to serve a purpose in your life. If you hold on to the pain it will ruin you. You will block your blessings. You will hate people who deserve to be loved. You will ruin friendships. You will burn bridges in every area of your life. You will isolate yourself.

Do not be the victim for too long. Be the victor. You have victory over everything in your life that tried to ruin you. If you are breathing, you are blessed. Count your blessings, not your problems. Many people would trade places with you today. Realize how blessed you are and how far you have come. As hard as it is to forgive, you have to find it in your heart to do so. Do not allow the world to beat you up. If you hold on to the hate it will consume you and they will go on with their life as if nothing ever happened. Do not carry their burden. Free yourself with forgiveness. Humans hurt people, it’s a part of life. We will hurt people just as we have been hurt by others. There must be a cycle of forgiveness for the world to function without us destroying ourselves.

Today, release the hate and the pain. Free yourself and live a fulfilling life. Do not let the pain hold you prisoner another day.

Blessings,

Tony G.

Don’t let a friend be an enemy…

There will be times in your life that you know you need to grow or change. You’ll hit walls that wake you up and send you on a path of gaining new knowledge. Those are very important times. It’s in those times that the people closest to you can work against you. They will try to get you to remain the same. They will put stumbling blocks in your way. They will criticize you and treat you differently with the hopes that it will make you stop pursuing a better you.

In those times you have to be the umpire and call it like you see it. You have to sit them down and tell them what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. You also have to tell them how they are hindering you and let them know that you see it clearly. You have to call out their insecurity, jealousy, or self-hate. You have to put it on front street and keep it real with them because it’ll make them better too. Don’t ever let an enemy sit next to you disguised as a friend. And don’t ever stop getting better because it’s making others uncomfortable.

Greatness is the only option. Don’t let anyone stop you from growing into the person you’re supposed to be.

Blessings,

Tony G.

Don’t play with a broken heart…

It’s hard to go through life and not be bruised and battered. We can suffer in so many ways. Most people had to pick their poison at a very young age. There is so much pain in so many people. The pain gets worse when a hurt person tries to love another hurt person. We hurt in different ways and we respond to the pain in different ways. There are some innocent hurting people who just want love. There are some innocent hurt people who just want revenge; and they’re willing to take it out on anyone in their path.

Be careful when loving a damaged person. It’s OK to try to love someone but make sure you don’t lose yourself in the process. If they aren’t ready for love then you have to be willing to walk away. If they don’t want to healed or even want to be helped, then you have to help yourself. You can’t save everybody and you can’t change anybody. You have to love as if you’ve never been hurt before and if that’s not good enough for them, you have to walk away. Don’t feel like you’re abandoning them. You’re just not the person meant to help them. Someone else will come along. We all hurt in different ways and we all have someone in this world who can help us heal. Know who is for you and be willing to let go of someone who isn’t. If you don’t have anyone, God’s grace is sufficient. His love is the ultimate love and will be the love that heals your heart. He may or may not use another person to help. Trust the process.

Don’t play with a broken heart. Don’t play with theirs and don’t play with yours. Someone can get hurt very badly because brokenness can be unforgiving at times. Be willing to let go of the past and heal the pain. Be willing to give love and allow love. It’s enough pain in the world already. Be the cure not the cause.

Blessings,

Tony Gaskins Jr.

Be willing to walk alone…

There will be times in your life that you’ll have to walk alone. There are some places that no one else can go with you. These are the growth spaces in your life that you have to go in order to grow. Most of the time your growth will be alone. When you don’t need people that’s usually when they are there for you. When you really need help many of those people won’t be there. It’s in those times that you must learn and grow.

Before your breakthrough you’ll go through a drought. The drought is to sweat everyone out. Those who aren’t supposed to enter into your best season with you will fall off in the drought. If you don’t know the purpose of the drought you’ll be upset with them. In the drought is also where you discover who you are and why you’re here. You will map out a new plan for life and how you should live your life moving forward. It’s the tough times that build your character so you don’t lose yourself in the good times. If you’re given everything before you’re ready to receive it, it will kill you. We’ve seen money, fame, or success kill many people. Appreciate the tough times just like you’d appreciate the good times. Smile all the way through it. Laugh in the face of adversity. When bad gets even worse, don’t lose faith. All of this is working together for your good. You’re being pruned and then you’ll be groomed. Embrace this season in your life and know that it’s for a reason.

On the other side of your drought the blessings will be overflowing. Those who fell off will try to come back but you’ll know to keep them at a distance and love them from there. Let the natural occur and keep going!! It’s working together for your good.

Blessings,

Tony G.

The eye of the storm…

You’ve heard about the eye of the storm being calm, right? It’s hard to imagine any part of a hurricane being calm. I always think about that when life gets crazy. There are times in life that it feels like everything around you is going crazy. If you aren’t careful you will allow everything going on to stress you. It will cave in on you and suffocate you. You’ll be angry. You’ll say stuff you don’t mean. You’ll lose yourself. But if you remain peaceful, the storm around you won’t change you.

In tough times I have to ask myself tough questions. What does it benefit me to stress? What does it benefit me to walk around upset? What does it benefit me to isolate myself from friends and family? There are no benefits to stress and worry. It steals from your energy and it makes your situation worse. On the other hand, if you’re at peace you will attract more peace. Your smile will attract more smiles. Your laughter will make others laugh. With your head up and a smile on your face you will attract blessings. Your demeanor will confuse the enemy and you’ll survive the storm.

There are always lessons that you can’t overlook. Pay attention to anything you may have done to cause this storm in your life. If it’s not of your doing, learn from it anyways. Let the storms in life make you wiser. Don’t go through a tough time just to go through it.

How many storms have you gone through in life? You’re still standing. This too shall pass. Embrace the struggle and keep going.

Blessings,

Tony G.

Consistency…

The one thing we lack as humans is the ability to be consistent. The humans who can be consistent are not normal anymore. They’ve elevated to another level of living. We all visit that place at least once, but it’s easier to get there than it is to stay there. Consistency is not common and it does the uncommon in your life.

What do you need to be consistent at? Think on the things you need to be consistent at. Write them down. Make a plan of action and then stick to it. If you can be consistent at anything it will change your life drastically. Every week I see someone “make it.” Rarely are the individuals exceptionally talented. It’s normally the result of a relentless pursuit of their goals. It’s baffling to see less talented people make it while very talented people wonder through life. I’ve suffered from a lack of consistency all my life. It’s not easy. But when I finally was consistent at the things that mattered, my life changed. Now I’m identifying other areas that I need to be consistent in and I’m working on those areas.

Consistency will change your life. You may not be the best. You may not be the smartest. You may not have the most of anything in life, but if you are consistent you will see changes.

Make it a point to be consistent in your life and your life will never be the same.

Blessings,

Tony G.

A Servant’s Heart…

I do customer service for my company and it’s so humbling. It helps me understand what people in the service industry go through. I really respect the people who had to deal with me in my past when I would go-off on the customer service rep. Not understanding they have nothing to do with the company or the product, but they have to get the brunt of everyone’s frustration. Many of us take our life’s frustration out on the customer service reps. When we’re mad with the government, customer service can take it. When we’re mad with the boss, customer service can take it. When we’re mad with our spouse, customer service can take it. Any problems we’re having, we give them to the customer service rep. It’s been amusing and upsetting handling the customer service department for my company. People write in with demands, threats, false accusations, and everything else. They write in as if they are the only person emailing in. They want the entire world to stop and serve their needs. It’s hilarious and it makes me mad all at the same time. Some time back I would forget that I’m customer service and I would respond as an entitled CEO, but under the name of my customer service rep. I really damaged my company a few times because I had to rip some folks. Then after I rip them, all of a sudden they are shocked and appalled at how they are being handled not realizing that I just gave them back what they gave me.

They thought they could write in and go off on the assistant and the assistant just take it, and then move on. Maybe that’s what real assistants and customer service people do. Maybe they don’t take it personal. At least I hope they don’t. I’ve learned a lot doing customer service. I do it for the very lessons I’m learning. It has made me humble. It has made me look at life differently. It has helped me understand how many people are struggling in life. It has shown me how many people are hurting and angry and operating from those places. Very rarely does someone write in respectfully, peacefully, and full of grace and understanding. I can count on one hand how many people can keep a level head and nice attitude when the world doesn’t stop for them. I’ve been guilty of handling situations just as most others do. That’s why I put myself through this training.

To be successful, like real success, lasting success, you must be humble. You must have a servant’s heart. Jesus said, the greatest among you is the servant. If you can be humble, you will be exalted. If you can have a servant’s heart, doors will be opened to you. If you can smile after being cursed-out and talked-down to, you’ll be able to achieve anything. To reach the top you must have the heart of the lowly. Your ego will destroy you.

The next time you have an issue with your phone bill, food order, or anything else remember this post. When you speak to the customer service rep, speak how you’d like to be spoken to. Approach it in a cool and calm manner and watch the sea be parted for you. After going through the fire as a customer service rep in my company I began to change my tone when addressing issues with other companies. I noticed the cool, calm, and collected version of myself got a lot more results than the angry and irate version of my past.

A servant carries the burden instead of dumping it on someone else. A servant is the greatest among us. A servant is a leader. A servant is stronger than anyone else. A servant’s heart will take you where ego can’t.

Grow with me as we try to have a servant’s heart in everything we do.

Blessings,

Tony G.