I do customer service for my company and it’s so humbling. It helps me understand what people in the service industry go through. I really respect the people who had to deal with me in my past when I would go-off on the customer service rep. Not understanding they have nothing to do with the company or the product, but they have to get the brunt of everyone’s frustration. Many of us take our life’s frustration out on the customer service reps. When we’re mad with the government, customer service can take it. When we’re mad with the boss, customer service can take it. When we’re mad with our spouse, customer service can take it. Any problems we’re having, we give them to the customer service rep. It’s been amusing and upsetting handling the customer service department for my company. People write in with demands, threats, false accusations, and everything else. They write in as if they are the only person emailing in. They want the entire world to stop and serve their needs. It’s hilarious and it makes me mad all at the same time. Some time back I would forget that I’m customer service and I would respond as an entitled CEO, but under the name of my customer service rep. I really damaged my company a few times because I had to rip some folks. Then after I rip them, all of a sudden they are shocked and appalled at how they are being handled not realizing that I just gave them back what they gave me.
They thought they could write in and go off on the assistant and the assistant just take it, and then move on. Maybe that’s what real assistants and customer service people do. Maybe they don’t take it personal. At least I hope they don’t. I’ve learned a lot doing customer service. I do it for the very lessons I’m learning. It has made me humble. It has made me look at life differently. It has helped me understand how many people are struggling in life. It has shown me how many people are hurting and angry and operating from those places. Very rarely does someone write in respectfully, peacefully, and full of grace and understanding. I can count on one hand how many people can keep a level head and nice attitude when the world doesn’t stop for them. I’ve been guilty of handling situations just as most others do. That’s why I put myself through this training.
To be successful, like real success, lasting success, you must be humble. You must have a servant’s heart. Jesus said, the greatest among you is the servant. If you can be humble, you will be exalted. If you can have a servant’s heart, doors will be opened to you. If you can smile after being cursed-out and talked-down to, you’ll be able to achieve anything. To reach the top you must have the heart of the lowly. Your ego will destroy you.
The next time you have an issue with your phone bill, food order, or anything else remember this post. When you speak to the customer service rep, speak how you’d like to be spoken to. Approach it in a cool and calm manner and watch the sea be parted for you. After going through the fire as a customer service rep in my company I began to change my tone when addressing issues with other companies. I noticed the cool, calm, and collected version of myself got a lot more results than the angry and irate version of my past.
A servant carries the burden instead of dumping it on someone else. A servant is the greatest among us. A servant is a leader. A servant is stronger than anyone else. A servant’s heart will take you where ego can’t.
Grow with me as we try to have a servant’s heart in everything we do.
I’ve been on a mission to choose happiness no matter my circumstances. It changes everything about life when you count the little things that you’d normally overlook. I used to count my money by the thousand, now I count it by the dollar. If you count your money by the dollar then count it by the quarter or the cent. Give abundance to the things you may feel are scarce. I used to count my problems, now I count my blessings. I used to look for an opportunity to get upset, now I look for an opportunity to laugh at something that used to upset me.
I’ve been creating more time instead of feeling overwhelmed and overworked. I breathe deeper and smile bigger. I realize that 24-hours in a day is a very long time. It hit me when I was outside doing soccer drills with my 10-year-old son. We were doing 10 minute increments and those 10 minutes felt like eternity. I felt every bone, every joint, every vein, then every cell in my legs and back. My body was screaming and asking for a break. In that moment I realize just how long a minute is and how every minute is just as long as the one before, and if we use it the right way we can accomplish a lot. Now I see my work time as abundant and my family time as abundant. I realize now that I don’t have to let my work run over into my family time. If I work 2 hours in a day or 8 hours in a day, it’s enough if I’m focused and driven while working.
Everything in life is in abundance if you choose to look at it that way. There is no lack. Even where you feel there is lack, there is abundance around it. What it all boils down to is, if you’re above the ground you’re blessed. Count it all joy, every problem, every setback, and every failure. You’re blessed beyond measure and it will only get better!
Yesterday, I wrote about how you’ll lose friends and offend spectators when you’re pursuing greatness, but there’s another side to the story. As you’re pursuing greatness there will be some people that you inspire. They aspire to be great and your energy motivates them to be better.
Your pursuit of greatness could be in any area of your life. It could be in your career, your relationship, your lifestyle and choices, or any other area of life. You can’t be great if you’re too selfish. You must have times that you sow into the lives of others. You have to be willing to be tugged on at times. Create windows of time that you allow others to drain you a little bit. I don’t mean drain in a negative way. I mean to pull from your wisdom and energy. At times it will get tiring and that’s your “check engine” light coming on to remind you it’s time to take care of yourself. This transfer of energy is necessary on your journey. We all need a mentor and a mentee. As you learn and grow you should teach. I’m no guru but I’m sharing lessons as I grow because no matter where I am in life there is always someone ahead of me and right behind me.
There will be different categories that you must place people in. Majority of the people you will share with them from a distance, like social media. Then there will be those who can email you. Then those who can text you. Then those who can call you. Then those you meet with in person. You’ll choose their category by how much you see them investing in themselves and how much of you they need. If you ever find yourself reaching out to people and no one is responding that means their greatness isn’t your type of greatness. Their greatness may not be greatness. The person for you will respond and you’ll respond to those who resonate with your energy.
Don’t ever isolate yourself for too long. It’s good to get away and consult yourself and listen to God but human interaction is necessary.
I withdraw from those I see as greatness in the making and then I deposit into others who are making their way up. If you picture it like a climb, we’re passing the food and water down. Everyone is helping everyone stay hydrated and focused on the journey. It’s a give and accept cycle that’s happening.
When I receive text messages from people who can’t move my life forward in a literal sense then I know it’s because I can move their life forward. So instead of being selfish, I respond because I know that interaction may motivate them to keep going. If they see me as greatness in the making then my energy energizes them. As they receive from me I’m also reaching out to someone who can energize me. We’re all in this together and we push one another.
Moving forward, don’t ignore your text messages if you know this person isn’t coming to bring anything negative in your life. They need you just as you’ll need someone too. You can’t be great if all you want to do is take and not give. Give more than you accept and your greatness won’t be denied.
I want to confirm with you that it’s not you. As you get better in life and grow into who you’re meant to be, you will lose some people along the way. Your fake friends will become offended by your pursuit of greatness and they will distance themselves from you. They will tell others that you think you’re too good for everyone. You can’t worry about that.
In addition to that you will have spectators who watch you from a distance. They will form biased opinions about you without knowing you. They will dislike you for reasons they make up in their minds because your greatness makes them feel less about themselves. You can’t worry about that.
Be careful of both groups of people coming back around after it seems you’ve made it. If they couldn’t be there in the tough times while you were sacrificing everything to become who you needed to be, they don’t deserve to be there in the good times when you’re reaping the harvest of your hard work.
Understand there will be times that it feels like you only have God to turn to and that’s ok. Greatness is not common so you have to be comfortable being uncommon. Keep pressing. It will make sense to all parties involved one day.
I’ve been touring alone since 2011, but I’ve been speaking on love since 2007. It’s been a journey and I still have a long ways to go. I wanted to share some of the lessons I’ve learned along the way. There are really too many lessons to put in this one blog but the few that I’ll share apply to life in general.
I speak on love because love changed my life. Before I knew the Bible says that love is the greatest gift given to mankind, love had already changed my life. When you truly learn how to love yourself and how to purely love someone else it’s hard not to share what you’ve learned. I started in 2007. I was still growing in love. Things got really serious in 2010. Back then twitter was new to my demographic so I was one of the first out the gate. That’s probably why you see that my following across the major social media networks is one of the largest among people who don’t have a TV show or Radio show. I have over 2.8M supporters online and it all happened organically. I never asked for a supporter or paid for the fake followers to boost numbers. I just shared a real and raw message. Most of the time my message is too raw. I’m not big on glitz and glam. If you notice, my YouTube videos are shot with poor quality because I shoot with my phone most of the time. The reason being is because I don’t like feeling processed when I’m sharing a message. I like to feel organic. You know the difference between processed food and organic food? Yeah, that’s what I mean. I’m organic. I might not look as pretty or be packaged as nice but what I give you will sustain you. That’s my style and it’s been hard trying to be more polished and pretty.
Because it seemed like I was shot out of a cannon online and people were seeing my quotes in a lot of places it made other people see my calling as a career. Then a lot of people joined me in the space and it’s getting crowded. It’s hard to tell the real from the fake. I don’t want to say who is real and who is fake because only God knows. I just know that in due time the real will be separated from the fake. The real will keep going no matter what. The real will be there and grinding it out even through the hard times. The real will put up their own dollars to make a difference. The real will give of their time and a lot of it to make a difference. If you keep watching, you’ll see the difference between the real and the fake in due time. We need as many true servants as possible.
I tour alone for now because I’m honing my message. I’m also building my support base. I’m also being patient to see who is really committed to this and who is chasing trends. I’m very sensitive to the power of words so I’m careful about what I say and I don’t want anyone around me to say the wrong things to those who come out to see me. Beyond the words are the actions. Not many people live what they talk about and I’m aware of that fact. I know what my behind-the-scenes look like so I can trust myself. I don’t know what theirs look like and it takes a long time to get to know someone and that’s also why I tour alone. In due time more people will show their true colors and the ones left standing even after some blemishes and mistakes, those are the ones I’ll take serious. It’s a journey!
I’ve taken this message to over 10 countries and 3 different continents. Love is a universal language but we express it differently in different parts of the world. My goal is to help bring people closer to real love.
When you see my tour stops today, it’s my work. I don’t have an event planner because it’s not really needed for me. I don’t want to sell people on esthetics. I want to sell them on the message. When people come to my seminars I’m not playing on their senses. There are chairs and a mic. Then it gets real. I’m doing it all wrong if you let the pros tell it, but numbers don’t lie. Anyone who does events knows that it’s hard to even get 50 people to show up. Well, all glory to God I’ve been able to get 200 and up to show up in nearly every city I visit if it’s my event and my marketing. For someone reason when I do other people’s events it just doesn’t always work out like that. I do not know why but being a spiritual person I believe God only sends a harvest to good ground. So if I partner with someone and the event doesn’t get my normal turnout I assume that it was bad ground. God’s hand wasn’t in it because of the other hands that were in it. I’m not sure what all hands are in on the other side of the events when I’m booked. I just go in an effort to serve. That leads me back to doing my own thing. I’ve spoken at events that weren’t my own and 50-100 people show up. Then I’ll go back and do my own and 300 people show up. It’s mind boggling to see how it works but I feel that it’s God sending me a message. Do what I told you to do, how I told you to do it and I won’t let you fail.
Another fact is that I’ve only been a part of a few events where I liked how they were ran. Most event planners do way too much and try to mix in too much stuff. The people leave more confused than when they came. Simple is always best. Albert Einstein said, “make it as simple as possible but not one bit simpler.” I live by that in everything I do because it’s in my nature.
In the past I’ve done events in large cities and hundreds of people would come out and it would be them and myself. I would get online and google “event space in Los Angeles” or whatever city. Then I would click on “images.” Then I’d click the image I like the best and visit the website. Then I’ll request a quote. Then I’ll come to a price I can afford and book the room. Then I go to Eventbrite.com and make a page, one step at a time. I used to use colors, not I leave it black and white. I then have my designer make a flyer for me. Then I start promoting it online. I don’t pay for any radio ads like most event planners. I don’t pay for any sponsored posts from other influencers. I just post it just like any other post. I only care about getting the people who really support me. I never want to convince a critic to come. I don’t want that energy at my event. I don’t allow media passes. Everyone in the building has to have a paid ticket of some sort. I allow people who say they can’t afford it to come sometimes, especially if they are a client or student of mine. I let the people record it on their phones because I don’t care about that. Most will only use it for their personal use anyways.
95% of the time I introduce myself. I don’t have a host because that is energy and 90% of hosts I’ve seen have bad energy. It’s also an unnecessary expense for events like mine. The people came because they saw me post about it and they appreciate my work or are curious to learn more. They don’t really care to see a host and not once has anyone wrote in and said “you really need a host.” I’m the DJ because I have an awesome playlist my wife made me. I play it from my phone into the microphone. I’m the host. I walk up up and grab the mic and introduce myself. I’m the keynote speaker. I then moderate the Q&A and I answer the questions for 30 minutes. Then I sign every book and take every picture. In Johannesburg, South Africa I stood like 4 hours after the event to sign books and take pictures. There was 600 people at the event and it felt like they all stayed after for a picture. That’s my style. If Jesus would let a stranger grab his garment and then notice the energy that left His body; who am I to not take a picture? If Jesus was humble, then who am I to be whisked away by security? Maybe it will have to be different when I’m older with massive following or something. Maybe I’ll get tired of it. But I pray I never do. I don’t have a desire to get over it. I’m a human. I don’t want to be worshiped or idolized. I want people to see Jesus in me and they can’t see that if I act like a privileged and arrogant wannabe celebrity. I’ve noticed that’s where a lot of people go wrong. They want to be worshiped. They want to be idolized. I don’t want that. I don’t want to be God. I want God to be God and I want to be His servant.
That’s how I run a seminar and that’s how I do it 90% of the time. That will have to change someday as I grow but the point I want to make is that you have to be willing to start somewhere. I’m 10 years in as a professional speaker and that’s how I still run events. It’s a process. It’s a journey. You have to be humble and you have to be patient. I’m 33 years old. The speakers in their prime are in their 50’s and 60’s. Too many of us want it all overnight and we get frustrated when it doesn’t happen the way we want it to.
I’m learning and I’m growing. I told you a little bit of my tour story and how I’m spreading my message. Here are some lessons from it.
Be willing to go alone.
Don’t be afraid of the grunt work.
Be every position until you can afford to hire other people.
I struggle with finding the balance between giving what’s needed and giving everything. I’m starting to understand more why so many men say they want to be financially stable before marriage. When I got married I wasn’t that type of man so I never understood the mindset but now I’m realizing why that mindset is normal for good men.
As the head of the household I want to provide for my wife and kids. I find myself wanting to provide their wants as equally as much as I want to provide their needs. That can get expensive fast. It really sends you into a space of evaluation where you’re trying to determine what’s really important in life.
When it comes to the kids, my wife and I may have made some mistakes, but all parents do. None of us really know what we’re doing, we just do the best we know how to do. We have two sons, a 10 year old and a 3 year old. They go to a Christian private school and for the both of them it’s about $2,100/month. We aren’t wealthy and money doesn’t grow on trees but I compare my 10 year old to some of the 10 year old’s I meet from the public schools and it makes Christian private school seem necessary. There’s a big difference for us between a Christian private school and a private school. At our son’s school they instill Christ in the kids and into the lessons. They try to emulate Christ and the love He showed the world. To hear my son learn new scriptures every week really blesses my heart. When he was little and was struggling with his allergies and eczema issues he would miss about 3 days a week. To know that he could go to school with skin completely red and not be bullied for it really meant a lot to me. He would say things like “mommy, I’ll be ok. Jesus will heal me because my friends at school are praying for me.” To hear that from the mouth of a child really blessed me. When our oldest son started going to Christian private school we were on financial aid and we couldn’t even afford that. We had to borrow some months but it meant the world to my wife that he went to a good school. She felt that it made a huge difference in her life and I couldn’t argue with that because I went to public school from K-9th grade and my mindset and behavior was totally different from my wife as she went to private school from K-9th. Her foundation was totally different from mine.
As much as we want to believe that everything at home makes all the difference, that’s not true. A child’s environment outside of the home is very important. We’ve always prayed for what we wanted and we went after it. We couldn’t afford it but my wife’s faith made it happen. That same type of faith helped me grow my brand and business and our son’s don’t receive any financial aid today but God has made a way. Looking around and seeing so many other kids in our neighborhood going to public school and seeming to be pretty good kids, I’m torn many days. I say to myself “man I could be saving $20,000/year. If i put that on the market or invested that into my business it would turn into millions.” But then I remember how being in public school I started having sex early even though my parents were ministers. I started stealing and even went to jail in the 9th grade. I was cursing, stealing, fighting, and all kinds of stuff because even though I had good home training, many of the kids around me didn’t and that pressure was greater than my parents influence. I turned it around thanks to the grace of God, but I could be dead or in prison today if just one thing had gone wrong. So I’m brought back to the investment that we’re making for our kids to be in a Christian private school getting their foundation set in place. I also feel some guilt because some families can’t even afford $100/month for school and have no choice other than to put their child in the public school system. I’m sure some private school parents don’t care about that but it bothers me many days. I thought about this the other day and I realize that by the time our sons are ready for college we will have already paid a minimum of $252,000 for their schooling and it’ll probably be much higher than that. It’s crazy to think about it. It hurts and it feels good at the same time. It’s sad to think that there has been a system created to protect the kids of the “rich.” I also realize that faith and the desire to have more for your kids play a part in it because not all kids at good private schools come from the same social class.
This also leads me to the understanding that sometimes we can do more for our kids but we don’t just because it doesn’t make sense to us. We will make our kids suffer just because we suffered in the same way. We limit our kids just because there were limitations placed on us. If it wasn’t for my wife having been exposed to the private school system my sons would probably be in public school. I know you may not think there is a difference, but there is. I’ve seen both sides of it and the difference is very noticeable. So even if you can only get financial aid, it’s worth at least asking the schools before just deciding to put your kids through the public school system. At my son’s school he was doing work in the second or third grade that I literally could not do. I helped him ONCE with his homework and it’s the only D he’s gotten since being in school. My wife can do all of his work of course because her education foundation was much different than mine. Because of her education my son earns straight A’s because she can teach him even what his teachers can’t teach him. Granted, they both are also naturally smart.
I’m left to the thought that maybe this is the way to go in this day and time. Although it’s a sacrifice and paying $2k/month for school is very hard to do, I see a big difference and it would break my heart to give my sons less than the best if there is a way I can make it happen.
To throw in a little note for those of you who are upset right now and saying “yeah that all sounds good and I’m glad your sons can go to private school but that’s not the case for me because it’s just not affordable, not even with financial aid.” I will say, by having a deep desire to give my sons more than what was afford to me it pushed me to new levels in my life. I don’t have a college degree. I don’t have a mentor. I don’t have any full-time staff. I’ve started 8 companies and created over 40 streams of income, many you have no idea about, all because I wanted to be in a position to give them more. My point is that there is a way to make it happen if you really want to make it happen. Don’t sell yourself short before you’ve tapped into every possible resource and option. Sometimes just pleading with the school and asking them to give you a chance may do it!
Now, to setting my family up for success. This is a calling that many men accept and it is no easy thing. Many women have accepted the same calling out of necessity. I’m investing in my gifts and it changed our lives greatly. I would spend every free dime investing in myself so that I could yield a return. I knew that I was sowing on good ground and that a harvest would come. There was a 6 year stretch that I went from earning $20,000 a year to $500k a year. My faith, my hopes, my desires, and my love for God and my family pushed me on that journey. This fuel in me is pushing me to become a Billionaire one day. I don’t know how it will happen but I didn’t know how $100k/year would happen either. I just trust God and keep working on myself and investing in my gifts. Because I did it and I know it works it has lead me to invest in my family at any cost.
What I want you to understand is that these investments aren’t from an endless supply of money. There are many times that I spend our last dime to make an investment in my wife or our sons or myself. I don’t think scarcely. I think abundantly. My oldest son says he wants to be a professional soccer player. So I invest in club soccer each year, it’s around $2k right now and he’s 10 so I know that will grow to $5k and then $10k when you include all the flights and hotel stays that await us. Just to be on the team is $1,200. Then the uniform is $250. Then some tournaments we have to pay extra. Then some tournaments are 1-2 nights and we have to spend travel money and $200-$250/night on a hotel room. It gets expensive. Many families are swimming in credit card debt investing in their kids. This summer my son is going to an overnight camp at IMG Academy in Bradenton, FL. This camp cost $2k for ONE week! It is absolutely crazy to me, but I’m doing it because I don’t want any other child to have any advantages over him. When he is grown, even if he doesn’t play a day as a pro soccer player I want him to look back and know that we invested in him and gave him every chance to be successful. Outside of those camps he’s going to two other camps. One was about $600 total and the other will be about $400 total. I want to cry just thinking about the fact that his younger brother will have to be afforded the same opportunities. So this summer alone another $3,000 is being invested into my son’s soccer dreams. I probably won’t do this every summer unless I see that it was really worth it. So here you have it, just for my oldest son I’m looking at an investment of $15,000 a year with school and soccer. It’s insane to think about but I’m painting a picture of how our world has separated us by how much money we earn. What we spend is small for some people. These opportunities are not afforded to everyone. I do believe if you want it bad enough you can find a way but it won’t just fall in your lap unless you win the lottery or find a sponsor. I just understand that I’m no one special. I’m just another child of God who has enough to believe that I can have the best this life has to offer.
I’m growing now and learning more about “smart money.” I’m learning that all the designer shoes, clothes, and cars aren’t important. The investments in our gifts and our lives are most important. I’m spending money differently now.
Those investments for our sons will have a return so that’s why I’m calling it an investment. It’s more than what I have to do and it’s not normal. It could be seen as borderline crazy. But I’m doing it because I don’t want them to have any excuses.
Outside of the money there comes, time. As a man or head of your household, the time you invest is more important than the money. The time you spend talking, playing, and bonding with your wife and kids will make all the difference. I remember my father being in the front yard with me all the time playing sports with me and training me to the best of his knowledge. He never paid for me to go to a single camp and I’m not sure why that is, but he put me through his own camps in the front yard or in the driveway playing basketball. I went on to play football in college because of his investments and sacrifices.
Yesterday, I went outside and juggled the soccer ball with my son and it was so hard. I’m lying here typing this in pain. My thighs, calves, shins, ankles, back, all that is hurting! I told him we will do an hour a day, 5 days a week. That’s the goal but if we at least get 3 days in, I’ll be happy. I know he won’t forget that just as I haven’t forgot what my Dad did with me. At the same time I watch my wife spend 15-20 hours a week with my sons helping them learn their academics. She also takes our oldest to the fields and works him out, putting him through a training regimen. She was a college athlete too. She ran the 800 in college until injuries and school work took over.
The investment of time is so important for the head of the household. The blessings or curses flow from the head. I do my best to make an effort to give my wife time as well as my sons. She is just as important as them. They have to see the way I love her so they will one day love their wives even better. They see us have date-nights every week. They see me grab her butt and rub on them thighs. I don’t intend for them to see all that but they see it. I slip up and get a little inappropriate sometimes with the public display of affection and my wife has to remind me to chill. As they grow older they will see how the head of the household has a large responsibility. I make mistakes too and those are the areas they will be better than me in. We always leave some room for our kids to grow because none of us are perfect. Sometimes I get agitated quickly and get snappy. I don’t curse or yell so it’s not that bad, but I get one of them nice-nasty attitudes that come with smart remarks, silent treatments and rude looks. It takes me about 10 minutes to snap out of it. When my oldest son gives me a look, I blame it on all the concussions I had in college playing football and tell him that’s why I don’t want him to play football, lol. My family watches my every move, the good and the bad. I’m the head and it all flows from me. I’m also writing this mini novel to hold myself accountable and remind myself of my calling as the head of the household. I’m still trying to get more time. I have to make more time actually. Being motivated and driven to earn more money to give my family more opportunities also comes with less time. So I’m constantly working on time management and creating a system that shows balance. I realize that they appreciate my time more than my money. Many men don’t believe that but it’s true. I know they say that love doesn’t pay the bills but in a very discreet way, it actually does pay the bills. My love for my family is what motivated me to become better so I could give them more. That love for them also has pushed me to another level to create streams of income that earn money while I’m spending time with them or even sleeping. Love is paying our bills.
Lastly, I want to make a point to the men about investing in our wives. She is so capable. She is so strong and so smart. She is smarter than you. She can earn more money than you too if given the tools. She has more longevity than you, in the bedroom, in the boardroom, and on Earth. These are shocking facts that I’m coming into the knowledge of. I’m writing this blog right now as my wife is at a conference. Her ticket to this conference cost us $400 that wasn’t in the budget. It actually cost more because of gas and parking so really about $500 plus. We were sitting in the bed early morning on Thursday and I saw it on my timeline. It’s a conference for women who blog, youtube, etc. It’s called “BlogHer.” When I saw it, I mentioned it to her and offered to send her. She accepted and I dropped $400 on it. Our budget is strict and tight because the more you build the more disciplined you have to be and it is a struggle. That’s why they say “mo money, more problems.” A lot comes with trying to make a better life. Nonetheless, we spent the money and she is loving it!! It’s reviving her and giving her a much needed boost to get back to her blogging and brand building.
Anything she wants to do in her life, I’m here for it. Anything! We are talking about law school right now. I will need a great Entertainment Lawyer one day and I want that money to go to her and she likes that idea too. She has a bachelors in Bio-medical Science and her masters in Medical Sciences. Her initial goal was to be a Medical Doctor but our lives took us in a different direction and now her interests have changed. I’m willing to spend my last dime on her dreams. She’s a full-time CEO of Home and helps run all of the companies I’ve started. She’s the backbone of our family. Our sons wouldn’t be who they are without her. I would literally be dead or in prison if it wasn’t for her influence in my life. For that, I owe her the world. She’s played a major part in my life. I think as men we often forget about the grace and favor a good woman brings to our lives. I challenge you to remember that and to give back to her instead of draining her more. There’s so much more I want to do for my wife that I’m not able to yet. As of now, I’m praying for abundance so that we can pay for law school if that’s where her heart leads her. If not, then for whatever else she wants to do. My days aren’t promised so for all the focus I stole from her at one point in life, I want to return it 1,000x. As men we can’t get into the mindset that everything has to be about us and our aspirations. Her dreams matter too. So many men want a handmaid instead of a Queen. The woman in Proverbs 31 made power moves and held things together. We have to respect her heart and her hustle and get behind her movement.
Ok, I have to put our 3 year old down for his nap now so I’m going to let you go. If you’ve read this far, thank you! I may not have made a lot of sense but I’m trying to put what’s on my heart into words and sometimes that’s so hard to do without offending or alienating someone. Please know this post is only to share another example. However you raise your kids or run your home, more power to you! I’m not saying my way is the way, but it is my way and I just wanted to share it with you to add a different perspective.
Last week I was on vacation with my family and it was the best thing I’ve done in a long time. I decided to turn my phone off and keep it off for an entire 8 days. It was so refreshing. That’s easy for some people to do but when you run several companies, monitor 21 different email addresses, and have nearly 3 million supporters online it’s a very hard thing to do! But, I did it!
I learned some valuable lessons while on vacation and I want to share some of them with you!
The world will keep spinning: Nothing in the world stopped moving while I was unplugged from social media and my cell phone. Everything kept moving and didn’t skip a beat.
My family fell in love with me all over again: My Wife and two sons had my undivided attention and got the best of me for 8 day s straight. I could see a different level of happiness in their eyes.
I still made money: My income was the average. I’ve worked 40 hours in a week and earned less than I earned while I was on vacation and didn’t lift a finger. I needed to see that to realize that I can step away from my businesses and things can still run smoothly.
I earned more respect: Many people wrote in and showed respect for me being willing to step away from it all and take a vacation. It’s not normal for a lot of people because we’ve become workaholics.
I slept much better: Without having my cellphone in my hand reading emails and social media, my mind and spirit were at ease. I fell asleep faster and slept better.
I gained clarity: I realized the importance of unplugging from the world. I decided to create a strict schedule for my life that will make more time for the most important things in life!
No one missed me: I don’t mean that literally, but no one’s life ended because I wasn’t posting online, responding to text messages, or emails. Everyone made it through the week and we were able to pick up where we left off.
Those are just some of the lessons that stood out to me. I want to challenge you to go a day without your cellphone. Also, set a time that you’ll put your phone down each day and not pick it up until the next day. Create time for yourself and don’t let anyone steal your time. Pay attention to how much time you give to meaningless TV shows, social media, and other time killers. Do the math and see how much life you’ve lost and how much it will cost you moving forward. I feel like my life has already changed for the better just because I’ve made the decision to make more time for myself and my family.
Don’t lose yourself trying to please everyone else.